My Stupid Suicide Plan – Chetan Bhagat

Found somewhere!! Really tells the story of most of the IITians. May not always be the suicidal but it comes as i have seen in my IIT Tenure, may it be a topper or average or loser. It really have a darker side. Many of the successful and unsuccessful don’t even come to notice. Even the person 3-4 rooms away wont even know it. So here it is by Chetan Bhagat :

Last week, an IITian committed suicide. People who commit suicide do it when they feel there’s no future. But wait, isn’t IIT the one place where a bright and shining future is a foregone conclusion? It just doesn’t add up, does it? Why would a young, hardworking, bright student who has the world ahead of him do something like this? But the answer is this-in our constant reverence for the great institution (and I do believe IITs are great), we forget the dark side. And the dark side is that the IITs are afflicted by the quintessential Indian phenomenon of academic pressure, probably the highest in the world.

I can rant about the educational system and how it requires serious fixing, or I can address the immediate-try my best to prevent such suicides. For this column I have chosen the latter, and I do so with a personal story.

News of a suicide always brings back one particular childhood memory. I was 14 years old when I first seriously contemplated suicide. I had done badly in chemistry in the Class X half yearly exam. I was an IIT aspirant, and 68% was nowhere near what an IIT candidate should be getting. I don’t know what had made me screw up the exam, but I did know this, I was going to kill myself. The only debate was about method.

Ironically, chemistry offered a way. I had read about copper sulphate, and that it was both cheap and poisonous. Copper sulphate was available at the kirana store. I had it all worked out.

My rationale for killing myself was simple-nobody loved me, my chemistry score was awful, I had no future and what difference would it make to the world if I was not there. I bought the copper sulphate for two rupees-probably the cheapest exit strategy in the world.
I didn’t do it for two reasons. One, I had a casual chat with the aunty next door about copper sulphate, and my knowledgeable aunty knew about a woman who had died that way. She said it was the most painful death possible, all your veins burst and you suffer for hours. This tale made my insides shudder. Second, on the day I was to do it, I noticed a street dog outside my house being teased by the neighborhood kids as he hunted for scraps of food. Nobody loved him. It would make no difference to the world if the dog wasn’t there. And I was pretty sure that its chemistry score would be awful. Yet, the dog wasn’t trotting off to the kirana store. He was only interested in figuring out a strategy for his next meal. And when he was full, he merely curled up in a corner with one eye open, clearly content and not giving a damn about the world. If he wasn’t planning to die anytime soon what the hell was I ranting about? I threw the copper sulphate in the bin. It was the best two bucks I ever wasted.

So why did I tell you this story? Because sometimes the pressure gets too much; like it did for the IITian who couldn’t take it no more. On the day he took that dreadful decision, his family and friends were shattered, and India lost a wonderful, bright child. And as the silly but true copper sulphate story tells you-it could happen to any of us or those around us. So please be on the lookout, if you see a distressed young soul, lend a supportive, non-judgmental ear. When I look back, I thank that aunt and that dog for unwittingly saving my life. If God wanted us to take our own life, he would have provided a power off button. He didn’t, so have faith and let his plan for you unfold. Because no matter how tough life gets and how much it hurts, if street dogs don’t give up, there is no reason why we, the smart species, should. Makes sense right?

Really makes sense!!

8 Responses

  1. t_floyd says:

    .why don’t we think this way?… your fan

  2. shubham says:

    very true n one must realise life is very precious

  3. @nks says:

    i thought of committing suicide once. But wasn’t gutsy enough.

    Thank god !!

  4. Anonymous says:

    i will suicide very soon.. i am final year iit student.. my degree is getting extended.. i had lost reading habit so badly that i have’nt read for lots of pages or for a lots of hours.. i think i can’t learn anything new now.. atleast via books or e-books… i want to do a lot in life.. but now i think i am done..
    the only reason i am alive is my family will go to great sorrow.. my little sister who thinks i am the only one for her in this world.. my mother who is waiting for me to grow up since these two decades.. my father who wishes that some of his dreams which he couldn’t achieve.. will be achieved by me..
    I know I am week.. fool.. dumb.. and coward.. i also don’t have ethics or morals.. blaah blaah blaah..
    but as i am anonymous i am free to write anything..

  5. Sunil Kumar says:

    The above comment has put me in dilemma. I added this article to my blog because i know at least 30-35% people in IITs think about suicide at least once specially the low graders or those whose degree gets extended.

    This was to to give them strength. I heartily request all the parents, the fellow IITians for caring, and strengthening their collegemates. The institution being known to produce great minds should not produce suicidal attempts.

  6. richa says:

    hey life changes very fast…..
    and it is never worth a suicide….
    b confident and…… try 2 get wt u cudnt…… harder……..
    u can do it…………..
    dnt liv 4 urself but those who cnt live vdout u………. ur parents……ur family…..they realy love u…..
    u r their dream come true…….
    hey cheer up dear……LIFE CHANGES……..AND IT WILL…….

    TAKE CARE…….

  7. Anonymous says:

    its ur choice……if you cant face it, do whatever u want…even i face the same problems as you, but have never ranted publicly about it….Also,when u die, go to heaven….i dont want to meet u…

  8. Tessa says:

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